Hello and welcome to my website! Here you can find some random tidbits about me, links to various places to purchase my amazing books, ways to contact me, and a blog where I will sometimes ramble away! So wander around, explore, don't keep your arms in the car at all times, and do pet/feed the animals. They are friendly...except for that moose over there. He ate a child last week. One bite and the kid was gone. It was odd and we all try not to make eye contact with the moose anymore. He looks twichy. But anyway, I would like to say thank you. It means a lot to me, with all the other internet things you could be doing, you opted to stop by here. That is simply the nicest thing you could ever do for me. Your gold star is in the mail!

9.28.2011

Random Thought

So I am at work and I am spacing out (nothing new) and for whatever reason a thought pops into my head: out of all the guys that I have made out with, I have not had sex with only two of them. Two. All the rest, I kissed them and we eventually did it. How slutty does that sound? Do I have some sex disease? Well that just sounds bad too...ignore that....no diseases up in here. Did the boys know that I was like that? Like did I give off a smell that said "Oh yes, kiss me and we will do it!"? I mean looking back I can tell you why I didn't sleep with the two guys: the first I was horribly drunk and barely remember kissing him to being with. The second is a long story (which will actually be part 4 of my online dating series which I am sure you want to read so damn bad and are thinking "Why the hell is she posting this when she could be working on that? WHY?!?!?" and then you are leaping out a window into a pit of fire breathing alligators who all have tiny, yet powerful, ray guns attached to their feet which they are somehow able to fire.) and I don't want to get into it right now. My point is, that statistic makes me sound like a slut in my head even when I know I am not. Or am I? Well, the more accurate thing would be "Or was I?" since I am now a slut only for one man. Which right there I would think "Non-Slut" when describing myself. Oh man, I am thinking about all of this too much and you are getting tired of reading so I will just go back to my work and leave all of us alone...until, of course, I get home tonight and work on the rest of my dating series which I am sure you will read after you defeat the alligators. Aim for the quater-sized kill spot on the back of their heads. Thanks Swamp People.
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